It is said that definitions belong to the definers
but when no one involved knows who they are in the first place,
all the words end up muddled
into a sea of oxymoronic phrases
and the only thing you can't confuse,
is the truth
that to be touched, is to be emotionally affected
that my greatest moment of weaknessand my most profound moment of strength
would collide at full speed
and though my vehicle is damaged
I would appear to emerge unscathed
that another being could rob me of agency
I never knew I had
that an act so motivated by the power of another of another
could empower me
that I will always remember the moment
I paid someone else to help me forget
to be touched, is to have come into contact with
to lay a hand upon.and who would think,
that bare hands
could reach a heart, a home, a soul, so deeply
and that something so dirty
could be purely- physical
that the only evidence it left behind
is etched in the front of my cerebral cortex
and something I swore would never happen again,
has attached itself to every facet of my life
and what always seemed so black and white
was only grey matter
what seemed so consequential
I had the power to make Not. Matter.
But no matter what I did
I couldn't make it better
because when it couldn't get any worse,
it encouraged my best.
to be touched, is to be moved
I was taken from a place of sanity
diagnosed with a condition
and the cause of my current state,
my conditioner if you will,
was by definition-
supposed to improve the quality of some other material
for everything he broke,
I gained the power to fix
and where he left me bare, I had access
to reach inward to repair...
all without leaving another scar
It appears God only works in the strangest of ways.
for a moment that stopped so much of my life...
it did just that.
stopped.so.much.of.my.life.
but the truth that sets this free
is that for all that it stopped,
it allowed me to go on
just never in the same way
and when things don't remain the same,
but the change is good
we call it progress
we can change the way we battle
but we can't control the test
and how crazy is it that
the most dehumanizing of all tragedies
has strengthened in me,
the most human of all emotions:
LOVE.
and I've never found discomfort in insanity,
because genius, requires it
it is said that definitions belong to the definers
perhaps only until they are taken by the defined
and the only thing left upon which to rely...
is the truth.
(Wrote this sometime in 2009)
diagnosed with a condition
and the cause of my current state,
my conditioner if you will,
was by definition-
supposed to improve the quality of some other material
for everything he broke,
I gained the power to fix
and where he left me bare, I had access
to reach inward to repair...
all without leaving another scar
It appears God only works in the strangest of ways.
for a moment that stopped so much of my life...
it did just that.
stopped.so.much.of.my.life.
but the truth that sets this free
is that for all that it stopped,
it allowed me to go on
just never in the same way
and when things don't remain the same,
but the change is good
we call it progress
we can change the way we battle
but we can't control the test
and how crazy is it that
the most dehumanizing of all tragedies
has strengthened in me,
the most human of all emotions:
LOVE.
and I've never found discomfort in insanity,
because genius, requires it
it is said that definitions belong to the definers
perhaps only until they are taken by the defined
and the only thing left upon which to rely...
is the truth.
(Wrote this sometime in 2009)
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