I feel you near.

I remember a time when we were together... I'd get your text or call just when I needed you. Or I'd be worried about you and you'd say you were fine but... I knew when you needed me. I know how you are when you're down. You keep to yourself. Stay quiet. I used to worry that all that rumbling in your brain would kill you. That no one could keep that much inside.

And now that there is nothing but pain and anger and sadness and love between us... I wonder if what I'm feeling is real. I worry about you. At times, I feel as if I can feel your sadness. Other times, like I can feel you thinking of me.

I'm so angry with you. I'm so hurt by you. But I love you. With every muscle in my body I do... I swear. I'm learning to deal with it.... but I loved you so deeply, I feel like I can feel your sadness. Like I can feel you near me, thinking of me. I'm probably wrong... but my heart pains me... and that same heart tells me it's pain we share.

It's been 20 days.

I still feel you near.