this weekend could fit in my pocket. snuggled between four flights, two weekdays and one weekend on a piece of paper folded thrice so it would all fit. i tend to make small things huge, and huge things small. so that bbm he ignored was paramount, when four years of ignorance seemed a trifle. so this time, in 09, i had the chance to do things differently. this weekend, was small. just three days for us, one vacation day for him, four flights for me. it's one line in our story. he gets off of second shift in march, and he'll come to dc. or maybe february 19th will come and he'll decide he doesn't fit here. and he won't come. but that'll be ok, because i'll always have this weekend.

he calls me beautiful. and by dinnertime on friday, after I had gotten out of the shower, he told me i look better without the makeup. i disagreed, but decided not to wear any to dinner. i felt like the most beautiful woman in the room. he always opened the door. he asked if i wanted to go to the show. he watched slumdog millionaire. with me. and that didn't take 4 years. when we looked out the window and gazed at the city lights 17 stories down he whispered, "ya'll don't appreciate us." I said, "who? women don't appreciate men?" he said, "no, ya'll civilians don't appreciate us linemen and journeymen.. look at all them lights we take care of." i laughed one of the many laughs of the weekend. he asked why i liked an average man like him. his voice rattled my trunk. i replied, because you are a man. he says i'm gonna be a big time lawyer and i'm gonna marry a big time ball player or a doctor or a lawyer... not a working man like him.

he said it like he wanted the best for me, but i was from a world too different than his own for him to give it to me himself. saturday i turned away from him i cried while he was watching the 300. not many tears. not really sad. just feeling too much in this small episode of my life. he said i smile at him like his mother does and it makes him blush. i figured it was the least i could do. if i never see him again, i'll always have this weekend. i haven't felt this beautiful or special in a long time, and if it's just for 2 or 3 days that i will, i'll take that. and i'll love it.

when i landed at bwi, i changed his ringtone to "hello." i haven't heard it ring yet but, he texted to see if i landed ok.